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Goodbye, My Tiny Jellybean.


We should really be in the camp. I'm not used to being somewhere else during the Holy Week. I've been attending the yearly church camp since 1999. This is my first, and hopefully my last absence.

Missing the Church Camp to Mourn Our Second Child

We've been mourning for two weeks now and we can't let anyone know what's happening.


Church camp is such a big deal to me. I was never absent, not one day, not even an hour. I always made sure I'm fully paid, present and actively participating. It's a commitment I made to support the group I'm in even if it takes going to Divisoria to buy props, painting banners, dealing with group mates; I was there from preparation to the end. I take pride in that!

Carrying a child is a much bigger deal... Unfortunately, God wants me to carry the child for only twelve weeks. The last two ultrasound results made clear that God has indeed taken our baby - no heartbeat, no fetal pole, no blood flow, and he/she shrank in size. I knew then I was going to miscarry anytime soon. My husband and I were still praying for a miracle while also preparing for the worst.

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