The Life of Kye

For most women, pregnancy is an exciting and blissful prelude to motherhood. Unfortunately, I am one of few women who dread being pregnant, traumatized by past pregnancy losses and failure. I'm pregnant for the third time in the moment we're almost sure we've done our best to prevent it from happening. Will God allow us to be parents this time?

My first resolution for 2018 is "DON'T GET PREGNANT." Nakakadala . I don't know if there's any direct translation to this word. It means we've learned our lesson and we don't want to go through the same situation again. After two losses , the natural response would be to take a step back and think about whether we want to try conceiving again, or stop, or take a break. We decided to dedicate this year to replenishing our health and our funds. I took on a project to help with that. We're trying to improve the management our present business. We're looking for ways to save money (possibly go back to live in Apartment A) . So far, so good.

2016 was not a ten-minute roller coaster ride. It's more like riding vintage ship sailing for months on the unpredictable open sea. There were times enemies overtake and you have to fight for your life. There's loss, but there were also times when you enjoy the stillness of the ocean and the peaceful night sky (while still hydrophobic) . At least that's how I picture it.

There's no such thing as a sick selfie. #stayingpositive #hopeful #MegTheCuddlyBear A photo posted by Kye Felix (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on Jul 1, 2016 at 9:08pm PDT Spotting can be very scary even when it's common. It's scarier during the first pregnancy. Some women even experience heavy bleeding! I've asked people and read forums. A lot of them go on to have healthy pregnancies, while some are not as fortunate. At this point, I am scared of having a miscarriage. Multiply the fear when I experienced spotting in my 13th week. Pregnancy - Bleeding Problems (READ HERE) Internet can either uplift your spirit or make you paranoid so it's best to stay away from it whenever you're anxious or confused. Hopefully my experience will not add to other mom-to-be's paranoia.