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I Missed Out on Pastor's Choice

I have been warned about him. Still, I chose him.

I remember one stressful afternoon. The pastor called me up telling me, "Huwag ka na sasama kay Roy. [Stay away from him] He's b*llsh*t." He repeated the same unprintable words with more unprintable words but with the same message. I have to stay away from him. Pastor said so.

Then he hung up.

I was still shocked. Why would he say those things? Why would a pastor call up a church member to bad-mouth another? And why would a pastor even bad-mouth anybody? Is my friend that despicable?

I couldn't respond to him while he was still ranting. After the call, I tried to internalize the conversation. There was so much disappointment and hatred in his voice. I simply assumed that the pastor and Roy had an argument and I hoped for it to be resolved.

But for him to call me up and bad-mouth my friend... that really confused me. It confused me about how I see him as a pastor. It confused me of how I see Roy.

Minutes later I texted the pastor with my response. "I trust him." I explained why I did. The pastor did not reply. I cried myself to sleep that night.

If he's really what the pastor says he is, which is **enter various curse words here** then God will reveal it to me. I just have to be cautious from now on.

Fast forward to this day, I am happily married to the man our former pastor strongly rejected. Now how did that happen?

SONA with Less Embroidery

The State of the Nation Address or SONA is a President's tool to announce his vision for the country. The way fashion designers see it, the event is a means to promote Philippine culture through fashion. The way we, the public, see it - the country's version of "The Oscar's"

Presenting Mrs. Congresswoman wearing your tax money!
A round of applause for this fashion moment!

"The traditional grand red carpet fashion show by members of Congress and their spouses attending the President’s State of the Nation Address (SONA) will be discarded to shift focus from ostentatious appearance to substantive governance." - CNN Philippines

I have nothing against fashion. I have nothing against expressing our culture through fashion. I think there will be more opportunities to do that and it's high time that the focus of the SONA returns to the SONA itself.


Gloomy Weather + Ponyo = ♥

This movie is perfect for rainy days when you like to stay at home under a cozy blanket. It's a movie you drink hot chocolate or eat spicy cup noodles with. Turn the volume up while the rain pours outside.

Just like any Studio Ghibli movies, I adore Ponyo!


Recovery after a D&C (Part 02)

image from PIXABAY
Back to work!

It's been five days after I've undergone a dilation and curettage procedure to remove the remains of the blighted ovum I've carried for fourteen weeks. Physical recovery is easier than I thought, but not without its challenges. There's still a lot of unknowns. There's no way to know what's going on inside without the help of the doctor. We're only relying upon symptoms for clues.

Raising the TMI (Too Much Information) Warning yet again. This post is mainly about the female reproductive health and may be awkward for guys to read. Gentlemen, please look away.

Back in the Ship

I feel like being back to the ship after being washed away
in the middle of the sea on a broken raft.

One of the more common effects of loss is wanting to be isolated from the world. 

Even when I remained active in social media, I maintained a distance from people, both physically and emotionally. When I couldn't avoid meeting people, I try to compose myself. There are still feelings I do not feel comfortable sharing with others, even those closest to me.

Recovery after a D&C (Part 01)

image from PIXABAY

Finally out of the hospital, home and settled.


I was confined for almost two days to remove the remains of my failed pregnancy, a blighted ovum I carried in my womb for 14 weeks.
The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be (READ HERE)

This is my detailed account of the procedure.
Having a D&C (Journal) - (READ HERE)

In case you're wondering what it was like after the operation, I assure you that it's okay. The operation itself wasn't as scary as I thought it was. The effects vary among women but I can tell you that it's manageable. If you need more information about recovering from D&C, feel free to read this article.

TMI (Too Much Information) about feminine reproductive health. (Maybe okay for ladies but uncomfortable for guys). If you're a guy and still want to read on... you've been warned.

Having a D&C (Journal)

I was praying for a go signal from God if I should go through the procedure or still wait for a natural miscarriage.

It was confirmed that I had a failed pregnancy - a blighted ovum.

I know we've already discussed. Hubby and I have agreed but I still have doubts. Until the last minute at home, I was still contemplating.

This journal might be of help to those who are diagnosed with blighted ovum and a failed pregnancy. Remember. You are not alone. I hope this post will help give you an idea and help prepare you if you ever decide to have a D&C.

view from the bed, inside the ob-gyne clinic

Sorry for the TMI (Too Much Information)
This post is not necessarily gory but it has details that may be uncomfortable for people to read. If you're that kind of people, STOP RIGHT HERE. Also, this post is really long.

A Proper Goodbye

Image from PIXABAY
Up to last Friday I was still conflicted whether to wait to miscarry naturally or to go with the d&c (dilation and curettage) or raspa.

One of my concerns is the fact that d&c is a procedure also used in abortion and I am STRONGLY AGAINST abortion.

The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be

I wish I never had to go through this but it seems that God has another plan...

Forsaken by his brothers, didn’t fit the scene
Being made a slave was not what Joseph dreamed
The coat of many colors was stained with blood and lies
But from this divine appointment, a ruler would arise 

When God has another plan, walk on and just say yes
When God has another plan, be assured that He knows best
When all your dreams are shattered, rest in His sufficient grace
We don’t have to understand, when God has another plan

Alone and broken hearted, questions fill your mind
Changes can be hard that come by God’s design
But if you could see tomorrow with a view from Heaven’s Throne
Every unexpected struggle has led you closer home

It's funny. I learned this song around the time I was two weeks pregnant.

As you noticed, the title already projects sad vibes. I do not intend to bring discouragement. I'm writing this because someday, someone somewhere will experience the same thing and will go looking for answers. My experience, though extremely heartbreaking, will give her some of those answers. Nothing of this ordeal will go to waste.

This post may be TMI (too much info). If you don't think you can handle it, STOP RIGHT HERE.
Just enjoy this song and IGNORE THE REST OF THE ARTICLE.

First Blood Against the War on Drugs

Less than a week after being sworn to office, the president exposed 5 top-rank officials in the PNP (Philippine National Police) who are involved in the distribution of illegal drugs in the country. It has been verified that these men have been protecting the drug lords for monetary gain.

"The officers he named who are still in active duty are former Region 6 Director Bernardo Diaz, former NCRPO Director Joel Pagdilao and former QCPD Director Edgardo Tinio. The two who have retired are Vicente Loot, who is now mayor of Daan Bantayan, and former Deputy Director General Marcelo Garbo." -CNN Philippines

Duterte names 5 police generals allegedly linked to illegal drugs (READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE)

He has declared war on drugs way before he became president. I couldn't blame him. It is a problem! It doesn't help that the very policemen we trust to protect us are instead protecting the drug lords and criminals. It hurts to know that our taxes sponsored the education of these police officers.

Why do these criminals keep getting away!
Because the past government doesn't have the balls to call them out!

Too shocked of the president's revelation?
Nope. The timing is just right!

Sentenced to Bed Rest (Continuation)

A photo posted by Kye Felix (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on

Spotting can be very scary even when it's common. It's scarier during the first pregnancy. Some women even experience heavy bleeding! I've asked people and read forums. A lot of them go on to have healthy pregnancies, while some are not as fortunate. At this point, I am scared of having a miscarriage. Multiply the fear when I experienced spotting in my 13th week.

Pregnancy - Bleeding Problems (READ HERE)

Internet can either uplift your spirit or make you paranoid so it's best to stay away from it whenever you're anxious or confused.

Hopefully my experience will not add to other mom-to-be's paranoia.

Our Epic Wedding Review : The Introduction

It's been months after our wedding and this is the only time I'll be writing a review about it. I was too happy... AND BUSY to write a review. Hubby and I even had to skip on our honeymoon. Besides processing marriage-related papers, we were also busy passing requirements for starting a new business and setting up a new home.

Maybe it's a blessing that I'm only writing this now. Our reviews will be less exaggerating and more insightful and objective for couples who are yet to marry.

Married life can be overwhelming. In our case, it all happened so fast, it's hard to slow down and just remember where it all began. In a month, we launched a store, moved into an apartment unit, and got a furbaby - a chihuahua named Xena. The following month, we got pregnant (and eventually lost the baby). It felt like being catapulted to harsh reality as soon as our wedding ended.

The magic isn't supposed to end after the wedding day. It isn't some spell that expires in midnight. Married life is not all house chores and working hard to pay the bills and support your family until the day you die. The magic is when you accept and find joy in the new normal married life has in store for you.

Are you looking forward to your NEW NORMAL?

I hope you love birds will be fulfilled, if not more, with your wedding day as much as we were. May our wedding review guide you to the start of your "happily ever after."

Updated: August 19, 2016

Sentenced to Bed Rest

Ink blots and coffee stains never scared me, but this did.

It seems my pregnancy is not as chill as I thought it would be. 

image from PIXABAY

I doubt I'll be experiencing morning sickness any time soon but there came another symptom. Something I could not ignore - spotting.

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