The Life of Kye

We've been mourning for two weeks now and we can't let anyone know what's happening. Church camp is such a big deal to me. I was never absent, not one day, not even an hour. I always made sure I'm fully paid, present and actively participating. It's a commitment I made to support the group I'm in even if it takes going to Divisoria to buy props, painting banners, dealing with group mates; I was there from preparation to the end. I take pride in that! Carrying a child is a much bigger deal... Unfortunately, God wants me to carry the child for only twelve weeks. The last two ultrasound results made clear that God has indeed taken our baby - no heartbeat, no fetal pole, no blood flow, and he/she shrank in size. I knew then I was going to miscarry anytime soon. My husband and I were still praying for a miracle while also preparing for the worst.

I feel like being back to the ship after being washed away in the middle of the sea on a broken raft. via GIPHY One of the more common effects of loss is wanting to be isolated from the world.  Even when I remained active in social media, I maintained a distance from people, both physically and emotionally. When I couldn't avoid meeting people, I try to compose myself. There are still feelings I do not feel comfortable sharing with others, even those closest to me.