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Back in the Ship

I feel like being back to the ship after being washed away
in the middle of the sea on a broken raft.

One of the more common effects of loss is wanting to be isolated from the world. 

Even when I remained active in social media, I maintained a distance from people, both physically and emotionally. When I couldn't avoid meeting people, I try to compose myself. There are still feelings I do not feel comfortable sharing with others, even those closest to me.

Going to church again after two weeks was very difficult.

I've always associated Sundays with happiness and excitement. I feared that the brethren will be affected by our grief. No matter how happy I look, I haven't moved on. Part of me wanted to stay home and cry for the baby we lost but I know that wouldn't do any good.

It's the Lord's day, not mine. I could skip worship to give way to grief; but grief is not an excuse. Having problems is not an excuse. Imagine if Christians will skip church to deal with their own problems. No one will show up for worship.

I tried to act as casual as I could at first.
Fake it 'til you make it!

I've been gone for only two weeks but going to church after a long absence still felt awkward. My husband and I sat on the same area as we used to every Sunday. During the break after Sunday School, some of the ladies asked how I was doing. I was afraid I'd be emotional, thankfully that didn't happen. I survived! Everything was back to normal just several handshakes later.

We edify one another.

It's surprising to know how common miscarriage is among women. Most of the ladies who approached me actually experienced a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages. The statistics look grim but I find comfort knowing I'm not alone. There's still hope after losing a child.

Our church is made up of different people, each one facing a unique struggle. Though we sing the same song in unison and hear the same preaching the Holy Spirit deals in a very personal way. In fellowship, we realize that we draw strength and encouragement from others, and while we face our own struggles we can provide that encouragement too.

Just by being present on a Sunday, we are sending the message
"God is more powerful
than whatever I am facing right now."

image from PIXABAY
My best decision this week is going back into the ship
- the fellowship.

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