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A Proper Goodbye

Image from PIXABAY
Up to last Friday I was still conflicted whether to wait to miscarry naturally or to go with the d&c (dilation and curettage) or raspa.

One of my concerns is the fact that d&c is a procedure also used in abortion and I am STRONGLY AGAINST abortion.

How I differentiate abortion from miscarriage:


Abortion is done when the pregnancy is unwanted. The pregnancy is terminated without regard of the life of the embryo or fetus. It is also known as "induced miscarriage."
Sinasadya (a choice; a DELIBERATE action)
Miscarriage just happens. The pregnancy terminates by itself whether the mother wants it to happen or not. It is also known as "spontaneous abortion" (emphasize the word SPONTANEOUS). There are many possible reasons for a pregnancy to fail.
Bottomline: Something went wrong and pregnancy can no longer continue.

Miscarriage - Wikipedia (READ HERE)

See how the terms "abortion" and "miscarriage" are used interchangeably.
The difference is MOTIVE. Why should a pregnancy be terminated?


Our situation:


I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. It is also called "missed miscarriage." It means that the embryo had either never formed or lived for sometime then died while the sac continues to grow. I continue to feel the pregnancy symptoms even after the embryo stopped growing or died. That explains the presence of a deteriorating empty sac my last ultrasound. I was still technically pregnant but not really because the baby's gone. We don't know how long, but he's gone.

The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be (READ HERE)

Since I stopped taking duphaston, my pregnancy symptoms began to fade. I also started experiencing mild cramps similar to the ones I get in my period. Cramps are getting stronger and more frequent.

The continuous spotting is a clear sign of miscarriage. It's not old blood that's coming out anymore but red blood mixed with tissue probably from the sac or the uterine lining.

Having a blighted ovum, the body takes too long to realize that the pregnancy had failed. The only goal of the natural miscarriage or the d&c is to expel the remains of the failed pregnancy to allow healing and recovery for the mother's reproductive system.

Believe me. I don't like my options but these two are the only options. I can either wait to bleed out the remains of my failed pregnancy or have them removed surgically.

My husband and I discussed it and we agreed to go with d&c.
I thought there's no more reason to keep the empty sac when it no longer has a purpose. I wanted my body to recover as quickly as possible. As for our spiritual and emotional being, I know it would take longer. We accepted that God has indeed taken our baby. It was a difficult choice but we have to let go and move on.


Anything that concerns the life of another is never easy.

I believe that life begins in conception. Therefore my baby had lived but only for a very short time. I am comforted thinking that God just decided to call him home in advance. He will never experience sickness, sadness, bullying, all the pressures and the struggles of this world. He will be forever pure.

I am honored to be entrusted by God to carry him even for a very short time. Maybe the world simply does not deserve him.

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