The Life of Kye

Better look silly and healthy than decent but ill. Wow, this getup did give me a lot of false hope. *dry coughs*

For most women, pregnancy is an exciting and blissful prelude to motherhood. Unfortunately, I am one of few women who dread being pregnant, traumatized by past pregnancy losses and failure. I'm pregnant for the third time in the moment we're almost sure we've done our best to prevent it from happening. Will God allow us to be parents this time?

My first resolution for 2018 is "DON'T GET PREGNANT." Nakakadala . I don't know if there's any direct translation to this word. It means we've learned our lesson and we don't want to go through the same situation again. After two losses , the natural response would be to take a step back and think about whether we want to try conceiving again, or stop, or take a break. We decided to dedicate this year to replenishing our health and our funds. I took on a project to help with that. We're trying to improve the management our present business. We're looking for ways to save money (possibly go back to live in Apartment A) . So far, so good.

"Tamang hinala" When directly translated from Filipino to English it means "proper or right suspicion." However, this phrase is often said in a sarcastic manner, therefore  it's a suspicion that turned out to be false.

photo from  PIXABAY You may think this is a serious post. ' Wag umasa. (Don't expect.) Charot lang 'to.

Image from PIXABAY This is why nursing or medicine never appealed to me - lack of patience for a patient (oh what pun!).

This is an account of what our family experienced this week. I'm hoping our experience will provide insights to people caring for senior or near-senior family members. If your parents are already taking maintenance meds for either hypertension or diabetes, be alert for the signs of a stroke attack. image from PIXABAY This is the story of Tatay's first stroke attack.

I just want to paint the tip of my nose for no good reason. Ladies, you must be familiar with nose pore strips or creams that remove whiteheads and blackheads. Since the world is fixated in looking pretty, products like these are invented, and constantly improved and reinvented depending on the target market.

edited image original image is from  PIXABAY My husband and I, with our respective families, are coming to terms with us not having a child early next year. It was quite a shock when we found out that my pregnancy failed. It's now safe to say that we're in the end of the grieving process. We've accepted what happened and we're moving forward. Raising the TMI Warning because of the theme of this post - female reproductive health. Only for adults!  KIDS, DO NOT READ THIS!

image from PIXABAY Back to work! It's been five days after I've undergone a dilation and curettage procedure to remove the remains of the blighted ovum I've carried for fourteen weeks. Physical recovery is easier than I thought, but not without its challenges. There's still a lot of unknowns. There's no way to know what's going on inside without the help of the doctor. We're only relying upon symptoms for clues. Raising the TMI (Too Much Information) Warning yet again. This post is mainly about the female reproductive health and may be awkward for guys to read. Gentlemen, please look away.

image from PIXABAY Finally out of the hospital, home and settled. via GIPHY I was confined for almost two days to remove the remains of my failed pregnancy, a blighted ovum I carried in my womb for 14 weeks. The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be (READ HERE) This is my detailed account of the procedure. Having a D&C (Journal) - (READ HERE) In case you're wondering what it was like after the operation, I assure you that it's okay. The operation itself wasn't as scary as I thought it was. The effects vary among women but I can tell you that it's manageable. If you need more information about recovering from D&C, feel free to read this article. TMI (Too Much Information) about feminine reproductive health. (Maybe okay for ladies but uncomfortable for guys). If you're a guy and still want to read on... you've been warned.

I was praying for a go signal from God if I should go through the procedure or still wait for a natural miscarriage. It was confirmed that I had a failed pregnancy - a blighted ovum. The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be (READ HERE) I know we've already discussed. Hubby and I have agreed but I still have doubts. Until the last minute at home, I was still contemplating. A Proper Goodbye (READ HERE) I DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, PROMOTE ABORTION THROUGH D&C! This journal might be of help to those who are diagnosed with blighted ovum and a failed pregnancy. Remember. You are not alone. I hope this post will help give you an idea and help prepare you if you ever decide to have a D&C. view from the bed, inside the ob-gyne clinic Sorry for the TMI (Too Much Information) This post is not necessarily gory but it has details that may be uncomfortable for people to read. If you're that kind of people, STOP RIGHT HERE. Also, this post is really long.

Image from  PIXABAY Up to last Friday I was still conflicted whether to wait to miscarry naturally or to go with the d&c (dilation and curettage) or raspa . One of my concerns is the fact that d&c is a procedure also used in abortion and I am STRONGLY AGAINST abortion.

I wish I never had to go through this but it seems that God has another plan... Forsaken by his brothers, didn’t fit the scene Being made a slave was not what Joseph dreamed The coat of many colors was stained with blood and lies But from this divine appointment, a ruler would arise  When God has another plan, walk on and just say yes When God has another plan, be assured that He knows best When all your dreams are shattered, rest in His sufficient grace We don’t have to understand, when God has another plan Alone and broken hearted, questions fill your mind Changes can be hard that come by God’s design But if you could see tomorrow with a view from Heaven’s Throne Every unexpected struggle has led you closer home It's funny. I learned this song around the time I was two weeks pregnant. As you noticed, the title already projects sad vibes. I do not intend to bring discouragement. I'm writing this because...

There's no such thing as a sick selfie. #stayingpositive #hopeful #MegTheCuddlyBear A photo posted by Kye Felix (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on Jul 1, 2016 at 9:08pm PDT Spotting can be very scary even when it's common. It's scarier during the first pregnancy. Some women even experience heavy bleeding! I've asked people and read forums. A lot of them go on to have healthy pregnancies, while some are not as fortunate. At this point, I am scared of having a miscarriage. Multiply the fear when I experienced spotting in my 13th week. Pregnancy - Bleeding Problems (READ HERE) Internet can either uplift your spirit or make you paranoid so it's best to stay away from it whenever you're anxious or confused. Hopefully my experience will not add to other mom-to-be's paranoia.

Ink blots and coffee stains never scared me, but this did. It seems my pregnancy is not as chill as I thought it would be.  My only symptoms (READ HERE) image from  PIXABAY I doubt I'll be experiencing morning sickness any time soon but there came another symptom. Something I could not ignore - spotting .

It's an all familiar plot in Filipino dramas. When the leading lady starts vomiting, and her mother finds out, the audience automatically assumes that she is pregnant. All drama hell breaks loose. Leading Lady: (Nauseated; pukes on the kitchen sink) Mother: (Sees daughter puking; instantly goes beast mode) Buntis ka?!?! Sinasabi ko na nga ba eh! Nakakahiya ka! Malandi! Haliparot!   Leading Lady: Mahal ko po siya, Nay...   Mother: Anong mahal mahal?!? Ni hindi pa tayo nakakaahon sa hirap nagagawa mo pang maglandi?! Lumayas ka sa pamamahay ko!   Next Scene: Mother drives daughter out of the house, throws her an empty bag and some of her clothes. via GIPHY My pregnancy is not as exciting and dramatic as other women's pregnancy. Why?

Estimated between 9 to 11 weeks pregnant now and I'm still in shock. image from  PIXABAY When I found out, I was on the fifth or seventh week. My husband and I never thought I would conceive this early in our marriage. He's diabetic. I have long and irregular cycle. My age is at the end of the calendar. We were actually conditioning our minds to accept the possibility of not having a child. Until I found out...

While the young people's organization of our church gathered with their guests, we run a day care center at the back of the auditorium. :) This video was taken months ago, back when our church was still renting a function hall inside a commercial establishment in Pasay City. People come in the morning. Many stay in the venue for lunch and siesta while waiting for the afternoon service. This has been the routine until we transferred to another place.

I know I should be working right now. I should be producing a hundred lines per minute by now. I should be able finish at least a page of line drawings right now; but here I am, writing about what I should be doing. When you run a vehicle until it consumes every ounce of fuel, it will stop. When you use something too much, you stretch it to its breaking point. Our bodies are like that.  I don't understand. I was fine last week.