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Sentenced to Bed Rest (Continuation)

A photo posted by Kye Felix (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on

Spotting can be very scary even when it's common. It's scarier during the first pregnancy. Some women even experience heavy bleeding! I've asked people and read forums. A lot of them go on to have healthy pregnancies, while some are not as fortunate. At this point, I am scared of having a miscarriage. Multiply the fear when I experienced spotting in my 13th week.

Pregnancy - Bleeding Problems (READ HERE)

Internet can either uplift your spirit or make you paranoid so it's best to stay away from it whenever you're anxious or confused.

Hopefully my experience will not add to other mom-to-be's paranoia.

My initial reaction was panic mixed with intense fear.
Sentenced to Bed Rest Day 0 to 2 (READ HERE)

I decided to follow the doctor's advice and see it through until our next appointment.

Day 3
I'm starting to accept my condition. Spotting seems more diluted today since my medication but I wouldn't be too confident until my next checkup. It's good that I'm not having any abdominal pain. I played some online games, edited some of my blog posts, typed some on the draft. There's still a bit of productivity even in bed rest.

Day 4
It's frustrating because I assumed the spotting would significantly lessen by now. At least it's not shocking to see anymore. As long as I'm not having intense cramps, I wouldn't worry about it.

I stayed at home while my husband attended church service. This is the first time I missed worship since we moved here. He did record the preachings so I can listen to them in another time.

I rested the whole day, just watched videos on youtube in between naps, tried to keep myself preoccupied while being home alone. When he got home we watched replay episodes of Hell's Kitchen until we fell asleep.

Day 5
There's an ongoing preparation for an event on Saturday. My part is to finish the layout of the posters and certificates. I managed to get some design done this morning while still in bed.

A photo posted by Kye Felix (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on

My husband surprised me with this breakfast bed table. Isn't he the sweetest? Bonus! It's real wood! 

He said it's his advanced birthday gift. I told him, "Sorry wala akong gift sa iyo. Si Robyn lang." (Sorry, I don't have a gift for you aside from Robyn, our baby.) He quickly responded with, "Kalahati nya sa akin nanggaling." (Half of him already came from me.) He went on bragging about how well he picked the table among the other options in Ace Hardware.

I gave in to my potato chips craving after dinner. Hubby bought the cheese V-cut instead of the original spicy barbeque (my favorite). He quickly went out and bought the RIGHT one, not that I demanded or anything... *grins*

We re-watched season 6 episode ten of Game of Thrones because he slept through the latter half of it. I tried not to spoil anything. He was sleepy while watching. I shake him so he wouldn't sleep again or we'll have to watch it again for the third time. There's no way that's going to happen!

Day 6
I'm enjoying my new workstation. I went straight to work after breakfast. Shhh... I ate the cheese V-Cut (You know, the WRONG V-Cut) this morning while watching youtube.

I'm less worried about the spotting now, but anxious about my doctor's appointment and ultrasound tomorrow. I've been taking my medication religiously and I'm hoping that baby is fine.

This is my most productive day since the start of bed rest. One more job to do, but maybe I'll put it off until tomorrow morning. I'm taking it easy.

Hopes for tomorrow

Anything can happen. I sure want to be positive. I'm hoping to finally see the baby tomorrow and hear his/her heartbeat. I'm hoping to know that my pregnancy is viable and baby is healthy. I want to know that this spotting is just some old blood my body wants to get rid off.

At the same time, I don't like holding on to false hope.

After my first ultrasound, the doctor told us the baby could either be too small to see in the ultrasound, my gestational sac may be too thick with fluid, or I could be having a blighted ovum instead of a living baby. I cried that night. I was really depressed.

I quickly learned to acknowledge that this pregnancy is not entirely up to me. Whatever God plans for me and baby, viable or not viable, is something I just have to accept. I'm in total surrender at this point and constantly praying for this anxiety to go away.

UPDATE as of July 8, 2016:
Sadly, my first pregnancy was a failure and I'm expecting to miscarry anytime soon...
The Firstborn That Wasn't Meant to Be (READ HERE)

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