With or Without Spaghetti
I'm not used to birthday parties.
Pastor's Day Ruined My Birthday
I spent years of my life preparing for somebody else's birthday. We're so tied up in financial commitments for Pastor's day in July and I'd be guilty spending money to treat myself. I'm used to that so having an event centered on me would be weird.
Because our birthdays (previous pastor's and mine) was so close apart, I never really got my moment. It didn't help that he was corrupted and other members worship him. He always made me feel that I'm unworthy of celebrating my own birthday.
I get depressed the very week approaching my birthday. It's a seasonal thing. I can't think of other reasons for this aside from past birthdays I spent decorating for his event and then being scolded after not meeting his standards. Those years were tough.
Happy Birthdays Ahead
Roy proposed to me in 2015. The proposal was a surprise. The birthday celebration, not so much. I saw cake boxes. That was probably the most fun I've had for a birthday; that and when my parents gave me a karaoke set and threw a party in my seventh year.
When you're past thirty it doesn't really matter where you ate or what kind of party you have. What matters is who you spend it with. I come from a simple family. No celebration is complete without my mother's spaghetti. A simple gathering is enough.
Gifts I am Grateful For
I do not have material gifts to brag about but I have immaterial ones that I'm truly thankful for.
I am grateful for the Lord Jesus Christ and His unconditional love for a sinner like me. I am grateful for the privilege to serve Him through the church.
I am grateful for my husband, Roy Emanuell, who is a constant encouragement to me. His optimism is the necessary balance to my cynical nature. Blessed is the woman who finds a prayerful husband. I have a husband that makes me laugh. It's a bonus!
I am grateful that my parents are still alive. I'm grateful for our family. I'm grateful for the simple gatherings we have (with or without spaghetti.)
I am grateful for having opportunities to work.
So grateful I don't celebrate 'Pastor's Day' anymore since that fateful day.
I am grateful for the things I have endured. I am not the person I am today without them.
Your Birthday, Your Rules.
If your birthday makes you anxious or depressed, know that you are not alone. You are worth celebrating. And speaking of celebrations, you do not need to conform to other people's expectations. You shouldn't be pressured to have parties you can't afford. It's your day! You decide what you want or do not want to do.
Some birthdays are going to be more memorable than others but simple celebrations do not make you less valuable. Remember this.
Comments
Post a Comment