Enough Chances Given

Have you ever made tough decision?

I’m writing this not to talk ill of or shame a person. I will not mention names. I believe there’s a moral to this story. And through experience, writing has helped me cope with overwhelming thoughts. To me, clearing my mind is like cleaning out a bag when stuff has accumulated inside. That’s what I’m about to do in this blog post - basically a brain dump.

Photo by Joaquin Paz y Miño on Unsplash

If you are currently a tenant of a space, or a landlord or landlady, you may very well relate to this post. If you aren’t any of the two, what follows may not interest you as much.

My husband and I moved to this house my father owns. We occupied a small room on the lower floor while the rooms upstairs were being rented out to lady bedspacers.

A Brief History.

When my father retired he was able to purchase a small property for the purpose of renting out to working ladies in Metro Manila. Even before the purchase, the house, particularly the rooms on the second floor, were being rented out. The previous boarders expressed their desire to continue renting the rooms to which my father agreed. It took a few months to do the repairs, clean and repaint the house before it could accommodate residents.

The ground floor room which used to be a sari-sari store was converted into a bedroom for our family’s use. My parents would pick a random date to visit the house to do routine checks, repairs, to collect rental fees and also to clean the common spaces. They would stay overnight at least twice a month. There are times I go to this house when I need to focus on work, or after client meetings, depending on the situation.

Aside from the cheap rental fee, my parents have decided to give the boarders a dining area with a TV. Not many bedspacing houses have common spaces like this. However, we did have a policy against cooking then.

Several years have passed. My father would say, “Nakapagpa-graduate na ang boarding house.” We had a boarder who stayed since her first year until she graduated. He’s very proud of this fact.

New Caretakers.

My father had a stroke in 2016. My younger brother became steward of the house. He visits the house every week but rarely stays overnight. Some time in 2018, he asked me and my husband to share some of the responsibility. We would visit at least once a week. We were living in Parañaque at the time.

In 2019, we realized commuting (and driving) from Parañaque to Pasay and vice versa was very inconvenient. Seeing that I only have to report to the college twice a week and that the house is a jeepney ride’s distance to my parents’ place, not to mention also accessible to prospective design projects, we decided to move in. My husband was hesistant at first because the ground floor room is really small but we made it work.

We also introduced some changes in the house. First, the boarders may use the toaster and refrigerator we brought in. Later, we bought an stove which we also allowed them to use provided they will share a certain amount for the LPG. We also offered laundry services to them if needed. The boarders can have packages delivered to the house knowing that either my husband or I will receive them. In addition to these, our cute chihuahua greets them and welcomes them home after a long day at work! And we still have not increased rental fees.

Boarder Problem.

I reiterate, my post is not meant to speak ill of other people. I will not mention names. I’m sharing what happened because I believe boarders and landlords alike can learn from what we have experienced.

We’ve had our share of problematic boarders. There are some with delayed payments. There are some who had unpleasant attitudes. We’ve heard complaints of a boarder being “dugyot” or “madungis”, one who refuses to clean after herself. Generally, our boarders are decent and pleasant, but a few are exceptions to this.

When we started managing the house, there’s one boarder that stood out. We’ll keep her anonymous and call her Ms. H.

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Ms. H

I wouldn’t say Ms. H is an awful person. She actually has a cheerful personality. The main problem was the length of her stay probably made her overly familiar with the house and a bit entitled. Let me explain further.

In 2018, we were still living in Parañaque and would try our best to visit the house for the routine checks, cleaning and overall maintenance. We instructed the boarders to contact us whenever there’s any concern about the house, and we would text them to remind them of monthly rental payments.

During this time, we would get reports and Ms. H’s name will be mentioned. The ref broke down. The ceiling fan (in Ms. H’s room) stopped working. We transferred the ground floor ceiling fan to their room and brought in a stand fan as a replacement. Weeks after, that replacement stand fan broke too. At some point, we decided not to repair these appliances anymore and instructed the boarders to handle them more carefully. By the time, they lost ref privileges and there’s no fan in dining area.

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I discovered that Ms. H would forget to turn off the ceiling fan whenever she’s downstairs. The said ceiling fan is at number 4 which is the highest speed setting! No wonder nasisiraan sila ng fan. She also has a mini fan attached to her bed. Tag-init masyado Teh?!

But the biggest inconvenience was whenever the water dispenser was broken. I remember rushing from Parañaque to Pasay after work just to fix it. When I ask who used it last, they pointed to one person. You’ve guessed it! It’s Ms. H.

But that’s still not the worst report we’ve received. I have received at least two text messages reporting that Ms. H brings her boyfriend to the house at night. He eats dinner and stays longer after that. A boarder asked me to rush to the house and check because she suspects the boyfriend stayed overnight. This is against the rules. I wasn’t able to check so this remains a mystery to this day.

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Aside from all these, Ms. H is also consistently delayed in paying her monthly rental.

Considering all these, we had enough reasons to evict her, instead, we decided to give the lady another chance. Anyway, we’ll be able to monitor the house better as stay-in caretakers.

Ms. H Takes Advantage.

Ref privileges were restored when we moved in. We replaced the some parts of the water dispenser. It is now working really well and we’ve had no incident of malfunction. We also implemented the changes I mentioned earlier.

To Ms. H’s delight, she filled a row of the ref’s door shelf with a big box of cereal and a box of fresh milk. Various food stuffs of hers take a moderate chunk of space inside. Almost a third of the freezer houses a pack of hotdogs and meats pang ulam nila ni boyfriend (because the boyfriend eats dinner in our house.) We, the rest of her housemates, cramp our food items on the leftover space. I knew I had to dominate the freezer space or else she will.

Ms. H’s Boyfriend.

I mentioned that boyfie eats dinner in the house. This guy was so liberally perfumed my husband and I developed bad allergic reactions to the smell. My husband would rather close the door kahit sobrang init than catch a whiff of this guy’s odor. There was one time I had an asthma attack and fainted because of this guy’s smell. It’s the worst! The following night he was there sinabihan ko, “Nahimatay ako sa pabango mo. Ayoko nang maamoy ‘yan ulit.” Ms. H texted me the next morning to apologize.

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But boyfie’s smell isn’t the only problem. Their extended presence in the common area was a really big deal. He’s in the house right after office hours. He would wait and watch TV in the common area while Ms. H cooks dinner for the two of them. They would eat dinner while watching TV. They would stay in the common area hours after that. TV is turned on while they play mobile games while the fan is set at “3” (highest speed level kaya pala nasisira) at nakatapat sa kanila. He would stay until past 10. Define abuso.

Isang beses, hiya naman kami sa kanila so we ate dinner inside our bedroom. This room is tiny and packed with our stuff. We had to move the fan so we can have a makeshift table to use while these two loiter on the dining area. Seriously. Hindi sila nakakaramdam. Even the other boarders are hesitant to stay in the common area when they’re together. Naiilang.

That’s when I decided to revise the contract and included a clause limiting the visiting hours. Abusado kasi. I also discovered another thing about Ms. H that contributed to the revision.

Nonexistent Security Deposit.

Upon her first month of stay in 2018 she requested to use her deposit as rental payment. She mentioned a family emergency. Our family gave her the consideration she requested. She never paid her deposit back and would continue to stay with payments that are weeks to a month delayed. When my husband and I moved in, boarders would inform us if they’re payments are going to be late. We’d grant them the needed extension. Some, like Ms. H, would need more active reminding, and our constant presence in the house helped with that. Until she left, there seemed to be no intention of paying back the deposit.

Problems Highlighted during the Pandemic.

While the other boarders were able to secure travel permits to go home to their respective provinces during the quarantine, my husband and I are stuck at home with the unemployed Ms. H. That’s what you call tough luck, fellas!

The lady had gotten no word of assurance from her company. She was told simply to “stand by.” That’s exactly what she did for four months while staying with us. For the sake of all humanity, we have offered not to require Ms. H to pay her rent, hoping for a voluntary contribution to the bills if she’s able. Occasionally, we’d even cook extra food to share with her.

Nobody expected the quarantine to last.

It seemed she had no financial capability to contribute to the living expenses but she had a budget for a stockpile of personal food items. Her boyfriend sends her money for this. She would buy groceries (and mobile data, I assume) but would never set aside any amount to contribute to utility expenses. We’re trying our best to understand her situation but her actions would later show how entitled and ungrateful she is.

There were times during the quarantine that we’ve reprimanded her for not conserving our resources like LPG and water.

She had also picked a favorite saucepan of mine to use for cooking. That same saucepan goes to the ref, gets reheated the next day, and the cycle would continue until the contents are fully consumed (maximum of three days). Meanwhile, my husband and I are left with a big-a** pot to cook a handful of oatmeal for two.

About the water consumption, how many pails does it take to wash a few pairs of short shorts and spaghetti straps? She’s been using three full pails with soap, and another three full pails for rinsing. With that much water, I can wash a two dresses and three polos, or one can fill a moderately sized kiddie pool. By the way, she did laundry every other day.

Update on the latest water bill: Since Ms. H. left we have been consuming 70 percent less water!

What’s even more irritating is that she’d multitask between cooking and doing laundry. The timing could never be more perfect. She’d do these just as I’m about to prepare dinner and when my husband needs take a bath and prepare for online classes! Ms. H had all the hours before 5 pm to wash her clothes without us getting in the way. Why did she have to do them at 5 eh? There’s an instance she was steaming siomai but left the stove on at high heat for too long that the steamer handles almost melted. Was her multitasking effective? No. Was her actions utterly careless and wasteful? Yes, and not to mention, inconsiderate.

Let me say it again. She has contributed nothing for the bills.

We did say we we’re not requiring her to pay but did she ever show gratitude for the free stay? I’m struggling to think of any gesture she made. Would have been nice if she offered to help by doing some light chores around the house. Instead, we couldn’t even rely on her to wipe the table after she eats or wipe the kitchen counters after cooking.

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Now that I think about it, aside from that text apology I got from her in the past I’ve never really heard her actually say “sorry” or “pasensya.” The other lady housemates managed to get her to say one lousy labas-sa-ilong “Thank you” after I cooked nilagang baka for everyone. She needs to practice the gesture. Mukhang hindi siya sanay.

Major Red Flags.

We’ve caught her using our kitchen ingredients without permission. My husband caught her refilling rubbing alcohol without asking us first. That's stealing! Not okay!

She would also go out despite the threat of getting herself and the household infected of covid19, or the possibility she’ll be caught from violating quarantine guidelines. We swore to never bail her out if ever the latter happens. She’s lucky she was never caught.

The Confirmation.

A few of the other boarders came back to report for work. Ms. H was still with us and staying for free. This could be an issue so I planned to talk to her hoping she’ll be able to give us an update and some contribution for the utilities.

One night, I was having a really bad back pain. Normally it would be okay to take a bath in the toilet using tabo. But this time, I really need to use the shower because stooping down was painful. It was 5 pm and all her laundry occupied the shower room while she was cooking a meal for herself, as usual. I had no choice but to wait for her activities to finish. How much time did she need? I was only able to shower past 7 pm.

While in the shower, I heard her talking to another boarder saying “pinagsabay ko yung paglalaba at pagluluto.” I assume they noticed I was really mad and she started justifying herself. I came out of the shower. Ms. H is brushing her teeth in front of the mirror and I caught her grinning. That grin quickly turned to shock when she realized I was behind her. My husband told me not to think too much about it but my guts say otherwise.

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I decided to calm myself before setting a meeting with her. The back pain required another full day of rest. Two days have passed before we talked.

Eviction Notice.

Our family’s consensus is to evict her.

I showed her the record of super delayed payments, the fact that we have no security deposit from her, her careless consumption of resources... I tried not to mention all the other issues to keep the meeting brief.

Now, she was willing to pay rent! It’s a miracle! May budget pa pala sya all this time!

We decided not to take her money, consider her four months of stay a major deficit. We told her to keep her money and use it to rent another place. Until the very end our intention was to help her transition to another place.

A few days later she started packing her things. I also noticed her talking to the other housemates. I  must admit I felt anxious about what she told them. Should I tell the others what really happened? I'll let my husband do the explaining. I'm not good at sugarcoating things.

No Goodbyes.

She took that whole day just packing her things. She did not inform us when she'll move out, but my husband and I have a hunch it's going to be the next day. She hosted a somewhat farewell dinner for the other housemates. She also gave some of her stuff away. What if she left and never surrendered the keys? I barely slept that night.

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At 3 AM I got up to cook oatmeal. My husband and I had a very early breakfast. At 4 AM, she's getting all her suitcases and a taxi cab parked in front of the house. She still hasn't talked to us. I had to remind her to leave her keys. She managed to say a lousy "thank you" before leaving.

Inspection.

The standard operating procedure is to check the room and the appliances and make sure they are in good working condition. The inspection should be done before the boarder is cleared to leave. In case of damages, the repair cost will come from the security deposit.

Since Ms. H. thinks  she's a special case, we did the inspection after she left. Good thing there weren't any damage to the room but she left her mouthwash spit on the pail under her bed. She must have forgotten it. But still... gross...

That's it. She's banned.

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Lessons.

If her records are not good, don't take her back.

Ms. H.'s records stated that she was a returning bedspacer. Records from her past stay also showed how delayed her payments were. Maybe my parents thought she will change and mature. Well, we now know she hasn't.

If they're staying, they're paying.

It's as simple as that. This is a business, not a charity. Huwag maging masyadong mabait. Help is good but only people who are willing to contribute is worthy of your help. Masarap tumulong sa mga taong marunong magpasalamat. If you have little contribution, at least show some gratitude for your stay.


I really hope we won't have another Ms. H.
Lugi eh.