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Another Year, Another Home

What happens when a natural homebody marries a nomad?

Background story:

My paternal grandmother acquired an inside lot of decent size for her children to inherit. Later on, that lot became one compound where my father, our family, his siblings and their respective families live. That compound was my home for 29 years until my wedding day.

Taong-bahay talaga ako. [I'm a homebody.] I even decided to go freelance so I can work at home.

Me: a freelancer and "rather chill at home than go anywhere" person.
Actually, I'd hold my pee because I'd rather stay in my room.

Him: a "will go anywhere, anytime" person.
If given a chance to go to Mars, he'll definitely sign up.

For my husband moving is easy. In his childhood, their family moved at least three times. He's used to going home to the province occasionally. He worked abroad as an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) twice. It's not a surprise because he's born in a family of OFW's. Not long ago, his family built a house but I don't think they will ever stop moving.

I envy his venturesomeness. It's easy for him to just stuff a backpack and go somewhere.

A post shared by Kye Felix-Pajela (@sleepwalkingscarlet) on

Married for a year now and I've already moved three times. For someone who stayed in the same compound for 29 years, that's stressful.

Our first home was with his parents. We lived there for only two weeks while renovations to the store and apartment unit are still ongoing. My husband felt right at home and I felt like a guest for the most part. We're thankful for the time that place became our transition home. They say, it looked like we were only playing house. Naglalaro lang daw kami ng bahay-bahayan.

How was it like living with in-laws? For me it felt very much like living with my parents. We have dinner together and watch TV. Normal family stuff. I thought, if we stay longer, it wouldn't really give us a chance to be just husband and wife. While we were there, we were children of his parents. His parents' lifelong decisions are stamped all over the place. Everything in that house is already set. It's almost too convenient.

The Bible says couples are supposed to leave their parents and start a new life.

I understand the practicality and convenience of couples still living with parents. Why live on your own when your parents' house have an extra room and a surplus grocery supply? Why pay rent when you can live somewhere for free? Why have your own utility bills when you can give a contribution to pay theirs?

The danger to this idea is being too dependent upon other people when you're meant to be independent. When you get married, you automatically become a separate family unit. I guess living with parents and in-laws work for some couples, and for some it doesn't.

I'm glad it was just a temporary setting for us. Don't get me wrong, my in-laws are great people and we get along. It just would be nice to be the head of your own household and stamp your own mark in your own home; just as what our parents did to the houses we grew up in.


Our stay wasn't exactly a vacation or honeymoon. The second week of our stay was focused on making sure the business is ready. We were applying for permits, moving stuff to the apartment, taking my things from my parents' house to the apartment. We would go home so exhausted. I can say we got to the reality part more quickly than most newlyweds.

As soon as the renovations were finished and some basic furniture were placed, we moved into the apartment unit near the store. Most of our furniture came from our parents. Most of the stuff we use are wedding gifts. We bought a few more things like kitchen items and storage boxes, and those completed our home.

After two short weeks, bahay-bahayan was officially over. We're on our own.

Update!!! Parts 2 and 3 are here!!!

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