"Sinadya"

"Sinadya" is a Filipino word to describe an event or action that happened or was done "intentionally."

Let me tell you the events that transpired in April 19, 2015 from my perspective. That fateful day, God allowed His church to undergo a drastic change.

It is not my intention to open old wounds. If you are still hurt or negatively affected by these events, stop right here. Don't read the account that follows. 

You can't wish to be free and bring your cage with you.

I don't wish to destroy the image of our churches. I just want to raise awareness. 

If you are from another Baptist church, let me tell you this uncomfortable truth. The Devil is constantly setting up traps to destroy your church. What happened to us can happen to you if you will not be vigilant. Evil seeps in in many ways, in many forms, and it could very well seep into your own pastor's heart.

A lot has been said. You have heard many accounts from different people, but there is only one truth. I will tell you not a version of what happened, but a small part of a larger collective truth we all share. Maybe you just don't know it yet, or you've always known but find it difficult to admit until now.

To my church mates both present and former, given that you have moved on and you think you are ready to read this, please do so with an open mind. 

Three years have passed. Maybe I can be objective in talking about this. My intention is just to air my side. We all made our decisions regardless of the motivation behind them. I will not be mentioning any names but if the shoe fits pasensya na lang po sa mga tatamaan. I did warn you, didn't I?

April 19, 2015 was a Sunday. I woke up really late for some reason. We received a text that our former pastor, who is still under disciplinary action, has decided to take over the church services for today.

When we got to the church, there's a commotion at the lobby. There are two services: one at the auditorium where the former pastor is taking back his position, and one at the other building where the interim pastor is preaching.

Gusto ko umakyat sa auditorium para sugurin yung former pastor. I was so angry. He violated the terms of his one-year-disciplinary action. Basically, he made a coup d'etat move to overthrow the interim pastor so he can take over the position of pastor again. He wasn't alone. The people loyal to him backed him up. Nagsama pa ng dalawang pulis na naka-uniform. Church members who came to the auditorium were not allowed to leave. This is a setup. Sinadya. 

Hinila ako ng mga magulang ko sa kabilang building. When we got there, people were crying. They're confused. I was in shock and emotional. I felt betrayed by the actions of the former pastor and his people. How can they do this to our church? How can God let this happen? Saan na kami magsisimba ngayon? Ang sakit sakit sa kalooban.

But I remember Matthew 16:18 "upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."

The church is not the building. It's the people.

Sa inyo na ang building.

We are the church and God will be the One to build us up.

That afternoon sa Jollibee muna kami nag-service. Happy na ulit. Everything became clear and we are where we are supposed to be - with each other.

Flashback muna tayo.

May 2014 the former pastor admitted to having an affair with one of the female church office workers. He repeatedly denied having sexual relations with the lady though being emotionally connected to her in a long span of thirteen years. I leave it to you to think if a decade long affair with zero immoral act is possible. He has a wife and two sons who are young adults at the time of his admission to the sin of adultery. I immediately pity the children.

I wasn't able to attend that Wednesday service when he confessed, but I passed by the church building after my meeting just in time after the service. People were gathered. Missionary pastors came. In his official speech he said that he will "relinquish" his position as a pastor and he agrees to be in at least one year of disciplinary action. This means he is to focus on healing. He will not preach for one year. An interim pastor has been chosen to take over his responsibilities.

The church loves him so much that his family continues to enjoy the privileges of a pastor's family. They continue to reside within the church building. Their needs are provided. Their bills are all paid. The church even sent them to an all-expense-paid vacation abroad!

Former pastor then quickly violates the agreement and schedules preaching engagements in other churches.

We invited a lawyer one Sunday to discuss corporate matters and review our church by-laws. While our congregation expects a corporate meeting, she bombarded us with statements such as "You are sinning against God." "Carnal kayo." and "You should be ashamed of yourselves." She talked with so much conviction kasi tama siya! She was right! This is not a corporate matter, or difference in perspective. This is about what God says about our church! This is about the qualifications of the Man of God according to the Bible.

1 Timothy 3 King James Version (KJV)

1 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

The sin of our church is that we love the person so much that we are willing to bend God's rules to accommodate an adulterer to the pulpit. We made him a bishop. We are willing to follow a leader who at the moment of his immorality God has already disqualified. We should really ashamed.

That's when it hit me. I was content listening to the preaching without checking God's Word for myself. I was content following orders without thinking if it's right or wrong. I wasn't listening to the Holy Spirit when He said something needs to be checked.

Further flashback.

I saw them in each other's arms.

I saw the former pastor embracing the lady who isn't his wife. I know it wasn't a friendly hug. My instincts tell me something is off. I felt uncomfortable catching them in the act so I said nothing. I conditioned my mind kasi baka ako lang nagbibigay ng malisya.

Weeks before, I overhear students talking about that lady. Kung sino pa raw ang istrikto siya pa ang malandi. I would scold the students for talking about someone in a disrespectful way. In the end, totoo pala ang mga sinasabi nila.

Lives were threatened to keep the affair secret.

A loved one was victim to this. He confronted the former pastor personally. Diniretso nya. The former pastor denied it. The next time he would confront the former pastor he received the threat.

Those who were threatened were faithful hardworking members. These are members who make things happen. These are the type of members who come home late because they're preparing for a church event. It didn't matter to the former pastor. Once you find out about his sin, he will silence you. 

I saw the money stuffed in shoe boxes.

The common practice would be to store money wherein it is protected like in a bank. There were times I had to get funds for building improvements. After the treasurer's office approves the request they send me upstairs to the pastor's house to retrieve the cash. It was unusual but I thought nothing of it until I saw the questionable purchases in the financial reports of 2015... There's more to the story than adultery...

We were told not to give our offerings until the former pastor comes back.

The thought of financially paralyzing the church is disturbing. It is our duty as members to supply the financial needs of the church. The former pastor's allies were casually telling us not to give - to disobey God's command to supply the church! This is what you call a sabotage. 

The signature campaign.

Since the issue broke there was a signature campaign to re-assign him as pastor ahead of the one-year-deadline. They went house to house to enforce this. I actually hope his men came to our house para nabara ko. Maybe they already know our family will not sign the petition.

I am fighting the urge to speak about other things I have knowledge of. Baka mabulunan kayo. I found out more than this but I am not willing to share those information here. In another post maybe?

Someone from the group who stayed with the former pastor asked me "Ano ba talaga ang nangyari." This post is a summary of it.

There are a lot of events leading to that fateful day in April 19, 2015 from my personal accounts alone. (In another post, dear reader. This is already getting long.) If you're going to ask my church mates now and collect what you hear, you will realize that we are all connected. It is one collective truth.

We still talk about the past. We talk over coffee or merienda, and you know what? We laugh about it. There is no more anger; maybe a little bit of sadness remembering the friends we lost, but more of it is happiness. Mas madalas, laugh trip. Ganun.

I regret the things I said when I was angry. If my words hurt you in the past, I am really sorry. I may be free from the old management, but I wasn't free from my own anger. I was bitter and terribly broken by what happened because I love the church. I loved the leader of the church. I gave him the double honor he did not deserve. I was loyal to him and he betrayed me. He threatened my family. He abused my loyalty, my sacrifices and my love. Can you imagine how hurt I was when I learned about the truth? Put yourself in my shoes.

And don't label me as someone who cannot forgive. Believe it or not, I have forgiven him. It took a long time but I did it! I am praying for him and his family. I am praying for the people who are still with him, hoping they God will give them clarity.

You can't hurl Bible verses about forgiveness and disregard the verses telling you that your pastor is disqualified. If you love God, you will follow His Word in totality.

We are not being self-righteous for leaving the church property, for changing our name and condemning immoral acts and abuses. We are not perfect people. We are not a perfect church. We are simply obeying God. Now He has given us an identity free of the stains associated with the former pastor and cohorts' transgressions.

I am grateful to God and happy to be with the people who stand by the truth.

We can't change what happened, but at least, others may learn from it. I believe God allowed this painful thing to happen, sinadya Niya, not to hurt us, but to show how He prevails.